My Dad is Dracula (and a Cat Tree) - 495

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(and my Landlord)
(and a Waffle Iron)
(and Got Swole)
(and a Volcano)
(and Pregnant)
(and an Aboveground Pool)
(and a Tardigrade)
(and a Formula One Race Car)
(and Attending a Job Fair)
(and a Beekeeper)
(and a Depression Era Hobo)
(and Has an Itch He Can't Reach)
(and a Medieval Scholar)
(and a Funicular)
(and Works Retail)
(and a Bake Sale)
(and an Avid Birdwatcher)
(and a Snake)
(and Overly Caffeinated)
(and a Podcast)
(and an All You Can Eat Buffet)
(and a Slip n' Slide)
(and a Highly Advanced Robot)
(and on Ebay)
(and a Hot Cup of Coffee)
(and Atlas)
(and an Aspiring DJ)
(and Making an Important Pumpkin)
(and a Late Night Talk Show Host)
(and a Treadmill)
(and My Camp Counselor)
(and a Cursed Monkey Paw)
(and a Master Cooper)
(and a Gazebo)
(and a Librarian)
(and Breaking the Sound Barrier)
(and Baba Yaga's House)
(and a Brand New Pair of Tennis Shoes)
(and We're Dressing up as Our Fathers)
(and a Gorgon)
(and a Surrealist Painting)
(and a Hall of Mirrors)
(and the World's Tiniest Violin)
(and a Hot Air Balloon)
(and an Analog Clock)
(and a Card From a Collectible Card Game)
(and a Rad Dirtbike)
(and a Flaky Croissant)
(and an Unreturned Blockbuster DVD)
(and a Big Jar of Coins)
(and a Beanbag Chair in a Middle School Library)
(and an Ice Cream Sundae)
(and a Rootin' Tootin' Cowboy)
(& a Scratch n Sniff Sticker on My 5th Grade History Folde
(and a Blanket Right Out of the Dryer)
(and a Complicated Board Game)
(and a Mirror)
(and the Hall Monitor)
(a Hermit Crab with an Unusual Home)
(and Experiencing VR For the First TIme)
(and an Ant Farm)
(and a Sphinx)
(and My Favorite T-Shirt That Went Missing Years Ago)
(and Jellied Cranberry Sauce)
(and a Tide Pool Teeming With Life)
(and a Bathmat of Dubious Freshness)
(and a Hedge Maze)
(and an Extreme Sports Beverage)
(and Heraclitus Walking Through a River)
(and an Axolotl)
(and a College Application Essay)
(and a Celebrity Chef)
(and Just Got a Metal Detector)
My Dad is Dracula (and a '90s Alien)
(and Andrew W.K.)
(and Drinking Enough Water Every Day)
(and a Stalagmite)
(and a Student Cutting Class)
(and a Centaur)
(and a Box of Crayons)
(and a Midnight Snack)
(and Emerging From a Clown Car)
(and Stuck in Quicksand)
(and My Birthday Cake)
(and an Excel Spreadsheet)
(and a Dog Who Really Wants to Go Out)
(and the Dryer Lint Filter)
(and a Lost and Found Box)
(and My Landlord)
(and a Ghostbuster)
(and an Elite Hacker)
(and Rudolph the Red-Nosed-Reindeer)
(and on a Holiday Break)
(on a Competitive Baking Show)
(and a Twitch Streamer)
(and Got Swole)
(and a Cloud that Looks Like a Bunny)
(and Pregnant)
(and an Old Sidewalk)
(and an Above Ground Pool)
(and My Valentine)
(and a Corn Dog)
(and a Formula One Race Car)
(and a Beekeeper)
(and a Depression Era Hobo)
(and a Medieval Scholar)
(and Works Retail)
(and a Bake Sale)
(and a Snake)
(and a Podcast)
(and an All You Can Eat Buffet)
(and a Slip n' Slide)
(and on Ebay)
(and a Glided Age Robber Baron)
(and a Rodeo Clown)
(and an Aspiring DJ)
(and a Flower in Bloom)
(and a Hot Cup of Coffee)
(and a Computer Virus)
(and Growing Out His Hair)
(and a Wishing Well)
(and Time Itself)
(and Constantly Exploding)
(and a Tumbleweed)
(and Shakespeare)
(and a Rotary Dial Phone)
(and a Looming Deadline)
(and the Library of Babel)
(and NOT a Pyramid Scheme)
(and a Big Leaf Pile)
(and a Bottle of Hot Sauce)
(and My Guidance Counselor)
(and an After School Special)
(and My Doctor)
(and a Moth)
(and the Brand Ambassador of Spicy Chicken Slammers)
(and Johnny Appleseed)
(and My Roommate)
(and My Dungeon Master)
(and a Giant Mecha)
(and a Free Continental Breakfast)
(and a Drop of Dew on a Blade of Grass)
(and an Exclamation Point)
& a Film of Oil on a Rainpuddle in a Chainstore Parking Lot
(and a Snail)
(and an IRS Auditor)
(and My Substitute Teacher)
(and a Sandwich Artist)
(and a Watched Pot)
(and an Anime Body Pillow)
(and a Gold Rush Era Prospector)
(and a Chocolate Easter Bunny)
(and a Brand New Sketchbook)
(and a Parade Balloon)
(and a Can of Aerosol Air Freshener)
(and a Newsie)
(and a Deviled Egg)
(and a Box of Cereal With a Prize Inside)
(and Gone Fishing)
(and a Raincloud)
(and Training For a New World Record)
(and a Refreshing Breath Mint)
(and a Hardwood Floor Hidden Beneath an Ugly Shag Carpet)
(and a Time Traveler)
(and the Last Snowman of Winter)
(and a Backyard Barbecue)
(and a Librarian)
(and a Missing Chapstick that Went Through the Dryer)
(and Reproductive Rights are Human Rights)
(and a Big Fluffy Sheep)
(and the Maitre D' of a Fine Dining Establishment)
(and Ozymandias)
(and a Pottery Teacher)
(and the Secret to a Good Salad)
(and a Bumper Sticker)
(and a Drawing of Him I Made When I Was Six)
(and a Lava Lamp)
(and a World-Class Figure Skater)
(and a Deep Sea Diver)
(and an Overdue Library Book
(and a Bridge Over Troubled Water)
(and a Hammock)
(and a Constellation)
(and the Finish Line of a Marathon)
(and the Hand of Fate)
(and a Hydrox Cookie)
(and a White Mage)
(and a Stinky Litter Box)
(and the Editor of My Yearbook)
(and a Gourmet Hot Dog)
(and a Fortune Teller Machine)
(and a Mysterious Silhouette to be Revealed on June 2)
(and a Giraffe)
(and a Surrealist Painting)
(and Working From Home)
(and My Lab Partner)
(and a Gargoyle Perched on a Gothic Cathedral)
(and a Smoke Detector)
(and a Marketable Plushie)
(and a Professional Dog Walker)
(and a Gorgeous Sunset)
(and a Tardigrade)
(and a Helpful Paperclip)
(and Networking)
(and a Twitch Streamer)
(and the Sandman)
(and Listening to Sad Music)
(and a '90s Alien)
(and a Blanket Right Out of the Dryer)
(and a Baby Goat at the Petting Zoo)
(and Cosplaying as Me)
(and Opening Up)
(and in The Far Side Comic Strip)
(and a Lighthouse)
(and a Computer Virus)
(and the Ship of Theseus)
(and a Peacock)
My Father is Nosferatu (and Now I am Also a Dad)
(and a Group Chat Notification)
(and Has Got Big Plans for the 4th of July)
(and Overly Caffeinated)
(and Training for a New World Record)
(and Having a Yard Sale)
(and a Jumbo Tub of Popcorn)
(and a Ghost)
(and a Treasure Map)
(and Cancelled Plans to Stay In)
(and a Toaster Ready to Pop)
(and a Classic Gaming Console)
(and Freshly Baked Bread)
(and a Smoke Detector)
(and a Dishwasher Full of Clean Dishes)
(and the Hero's Journey)
(and Universal Basic Income)
(and a UFO)
(and Running from His Past)
(and a Painter of Landscapes)
(and a Shopping List)
(and a Jeff Koons Sculpture)
(and Orpheus Leaving the Grocery Store)
(and a Family Size Box of Mac and Cheese)
(and a Digital Jukebox)
(and Covered in Bugs)
(and a Pile of Clean Laundry)
(and Washing His Hair)
(and a Fanny Pack)
(and a Mug of Tea I Just Made)
(and a Favorite Comic Book)
(and Ordering a Pizza)
(and a Lighthouse)
(and a Cactus)
(and a Pie Cooling on a Window Sill)
(and a Cursor)
(and an Arcade Game)
(and a VHS Cassette Tape)
(and Dreaming)
(and a Wizard)
(and a Ripe Avocado)
(and a Late Night Scary Movie)
(and a Monster Truck)
(and Going on Vacation)
(and a Giant Clam)
(and a Junk Drawer)
(and the Beach)
(and the Spirit of the Stairs)
(and Out in Left Field)
(and the Pied Piper of Hamlin)
(and Trying on New Clothes)
(and a Roller Coaster)
(and a Kite)
(and the Moon)
(and Prank Calling Me)
(and a Waffle Iron)
(and a Volcano)
(and Attending a Job Fair)
(and Stone Soup)
(and a Funicular)
(and a Highly Advanced Robot)
(and Curled Up With a Good Book)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Dusty Record Collection)
(and an Intramural Volleyball Player)
(and on the Last Hole of a Miniature Golf Course)
(and a Post-Apocalyptic Road Warrior)
(and Working From Home)
(and a Fancy Cheese Plate)
(and an Indoor Gardener)
(and a Professional Wrestler)
(and a Cabinet of Curiosities)
(and a Dial-Up Modem)
(and We Dressed Up As Our Fathers)
(and a Generic Brand Bag of Cereal)
(and a Fiber Artist)
(and a Drive-thru Intercom System)
(and a Backyard Beehive)
(and a Shiny Brass Door Knob)
(and a Helpful Paperclip)
(and an Illuminated Manuscript)
(and Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs)
(and My Camp Counselor)
(and a Cursed Monkey's Paw)
(and a Master Cooper)
(and Baba Yaga's House)
(and a Surrealist Painting)
(and in a Hall of Mirrors)
(and a Cornucopia)
(and a Hot-Air Balloon)
(and an Analog Clock)
(and a Card From a Collectible Card Game)
(and an Unreturned Blockbuster DVD)
(and a Grain Silo)
(and an Old Couch on the Curb)
(and a Beanbag Chair in a Middle School Library)
(and a Scratch n Sniff Sticker on My Grade 5 History Folder)
(and an Ice Cream Sundae)
(and a Complicated Board Game)
(and My Favorite T-Shirt that Went Missing Years Ago)
(and a Tide Pool Teeming with Life)
(and a Bathmat of Dubious Freshness)
(and My New Year's Resolutions)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Hedge Maze)
My Dad is Dracula (and an Extreme Sports Beverage)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Trusty Funnel)
My Dad is Dracula (and an Axolotl)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Stiletto Heel)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Celebrity Chef)
My Dad is Dracula (and Just Got a Metal Detector)
My Dad is Dracula (and a 90s Alien)
My Dad is Dracula (and Andrew W.K.)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Solar Panel)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Stalagmite)
My Dad is Dracula (and an Inside-Out Umbrella)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Centaur)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Box of Crayons)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Midnight Snack)
My Dad is Dracula (and Stuck in Quicksand)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Scavenger Hunt)
My Dad is Dracula (and an Excel Spreadsheet)
My Dad is Dracula (and the 999th Sheep Counted)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Dog Who Really Wants to Go Out)
My Dad is Dracula (and the Dryer Lint Filter)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Lost and Found Box)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Pile of Unread Schoolbooks)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Potbelly Stove)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Polaroid Camera)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Hydra)
My Dad is Dracula (and Waiting to Sign For a Package)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Slide)
My Dad is Dracula (and the Three Musketeers)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Brain in a Jar)
My Dad is Dracula (and an Organized Sock Drawer)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Late Night Talk Show Host)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Sunken Ship)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Gazebo)
My Dad is Dracula (and Breaking the Sound Barrier)
My Dad is Dracula (and the World's Tiniest Violin)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Flaky Croissant)
My Dad is Dracula (and an Old 3.5 Inch Floppy Disk)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Big Jar of Coins)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Bunch of Googly Eyes)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Sphinx)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Blanket Right Out of the Dryer)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Mirror)
My Dad is Dracula (and My Valentine)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Benchpress)
My Dad is Dracula (and Heraclitus Walking Thru a River)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Saint Bernard)
My Dad is Dracula (and a College Application Essay)
My Dad is Dracula (and Drinking Enough Water Every Day)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Student Cutting Class)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Ghostbuster)
My Dad is Dracula (and an Elite Hacker)
My Dad is Dracula (and on a Competitive Baking Show)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Cloud That Looks Like a Bunny)
My Dad is Dracula (and on a Zoom Call)
My Dad is Dracula (and the New Sheriff in Town)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Lakeside Cabin in the Woods)
My Dad is Dracula (and Puss in Boots)
My Dad is Dracula (and an Escaped Pet Hamster)
My Dad is Dracula (and Taking a Bubble Bath)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Cast Iron Skillet)
My Dad is Dracula (and Training for a New World Record)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Tennis Ball Hanging in the Garage)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Pause Button)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Turnspit Dog)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Drinking Fountain)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Ham Radio Operator)
My Dad is Dracula (and the Library of Babel)
My Dad is Dracula (and an After School Special)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Moth)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Plastic Bread Clip)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Giant Mecha)
My Dad is Dracula (and My Substitute Teacher)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Watched Pot)
MDiD (and the One Grocery Cart With the Squeaky Wheel)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Parade Balloon)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Drippy Faucet)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Newsie)
MDiD (and the Brand Ambassador of Spicy Chicken Slammers)
Beautiful Hardwood Floor Hidden Beneath an Ugly Shag Carpet
MDiD (and a Missing Chapstick That Went Through the Dryer)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Software Pirate)
My Dad id Dracula (and a Big Fluffy Sheep)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Spring Bulb Waiting to Sprout)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Bumper Sticker)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Chocolate Easter Bunny)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Hammock)
My Dad is Dracula (and the Ship of Theseus)
My Dad is Dracula (and an Earthworm)
My Dad is Dracula (and My Landlord)
Your Artist is Jason (and Breaking the 4th Wall)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Disco Ball)
My Dad is Dracula (and an Empty Fridge)
My Dad is Dracula (and an International HarvesterTractor)
My Dad is Dracula (and Bunnicula)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Pat of Butter on Toast)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Blank Sheet of Paper)
Your Artist is Jason (and HEY FRIEND! GUESS WHAT?!)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Pumpkin Spice Latte)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Classic Gaming Console)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Loaf of Freshly Baked Bread)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Smoke Detector)
MDiD (and Plays in the Horn Section of a Ska Band)
My Dad is Dracula (and the Hero's Journey)
My Dad is Dracula (and an Off Brand Mascot Toy)
My Dad is Dracula (and the Dawn of Agriculture)
My Dad is Dracula (and Universal Basic Income)
My Dad is Dracula (and Running From His Past)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Jukebox)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Bearded Dragon)
My Dad is Dracula (and an Avant-Garde Art Installation)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Fanny Pack)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Very Good Dog)
My Dad is Dracula (and Shakespeare's First Folio)
My Dad is Dracula (and Learning to Skateboard After Fourty)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Zamboni Driver)
My Dad is Dracula (and Covered in Bugs)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Junk Drawer)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Vinyl Record Album)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Student Cutting Class)
My Dad is Dracula (and Receiving His Doctorate)
My Dad is Dracula (and also a Snail)
My Dad is Dracula (and Got Swole)
My Dad is Dracula (and the Neighborhood Black Cat)
My Dad is Dracula (and the Secret to a Good Salad)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Snake)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Shop Owner in an RPG)
My Dad is Dracula (and an Emotional Support Water Bottle)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Computer Virus)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Delicious Cheeseburger)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Sunflower Photosynthesizing)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Tiny Giraffe)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Drawing of Him I Made When I Was 6)
My Dad is Dracula (and the James Webb Space Telescope)
My Dad is Dracula (and Also a Zine)
My Dad is Dracula (and Jeff Goldblum from Jurassic Park)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Deep Sea Diver)
My Dad is Dracula (and an Overdue Library Book)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Bridge Over Troubled Waters)
My Dad is Dracula (and the Hand of Fate)
My Dad is Dracula (and My OC, Ravyn Deathshade)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Bridal Bouquet)
My Dad is Dracula (and a VHS Video Rental Store)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Stinky Litter Box)
My Dad is Dracula (and a White Mage)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Gourmet Hot Dog)
My Dad is Dracula (and Going On a Vacation)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Photographer)
My Dad is Dracula (and an Italian Poet)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Paper Doll Chain)
My Dad is Dracula (and the New Spicy Chicken Bowl-nanza)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Loaf of Freshly Baked Bread)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Smoke Detector)
My Dad is Dracula (and the Hero's Journey)
My Dad is Dracula (and Small Town Radio Presenter)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Painter of Landscapes)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Cartographer)
My Dad is Dracula (and a World-Class Figure Skater)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Cat Dad)
My Dad is Dracula (and an Accountant)
My Dad is Dracula (and Has a Sweet 70s Afro)
My Dad is Dracula (and Playing Hide and Seek)
My Dad is Dracula (and an Electric Car)
My Dad is Dracula (and Getting His Annual Doctor Checkup)
My Dad is Dracula (and Quantum Entangled)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Zen Garden)
MDiD (and Dealing With Creative Frustration at Work)
My Dad is Dracula (and an Anvil)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Missed Call Notification)
My Dad is Dracula (and Alucard From the 'Hellsing' Manga)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Synchronized Swimming Team)
My Dad is Dracula (and In Summer School)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Nobody From Kingdom Hearts)
My Dad is Dracula (and Rapunzel)
My Dad is Dracula (and the Hoover Dam)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Cat Tree)
My Dad is Dracula (and Just Won an Oscar)
My Dad is Dracula (and a Moose Shedding His Antlers)

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My Dad is Dracula

"What if we stapled some carpet samples to your treehouse, Son?" Paw that like button, pspsps the comments, repost to spread the catnip, catch the laser with a follow, and become a member for VIP access to the Feline Fortress if MDiD is the cat's meow!