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- "Lets begin..."
- "What life is like in Hell Pt 1."
- "What life is like in Hell Pt2"
- "Wake up, sleepy head."
- "Over my marrow-less, dead bones, bear."
- "Its Show and Tell today!"
- "Another day at the school bus stop."
- "That child has no aura."
- "Excuse me, I'm looking for a vampire."
- "Another day, another math quiz."
- "Someone needs a timeout."
- "I was told to shut my mouth."
- "What Is a Vorlock?"
- "Shut up, Baker."
- "Come out and play, Mathilda."
- "So, we're just going to let that go?"
- "Jeffrey is given a quest."
- "Mathilda meets OReily."
- "Introducing Bela the Undeaddy Bear."
- "Easy there, bear...thing."
- "Get Out. The sandbox. Now."
- "Ok, we walked into that one."
- "Youve just opened a can of whip ass."
- "OReily Meets His Vampire."
- "OReily REALLY Hates Vampires."
- "Guns on the Playground??"
- "Mathilda Ends the Fight."
- "Enter Astoroth!"
- "There ain't no one like me."
- "Don't be afraid."
- "F*k you, and F*k that."
- "Bring her to me!"
- "Bad bear, no donut."
- "O'Reily gets his groove on."
- "...and just like that."
- "Hey. Over here."
- "Not surprising."
- "Why in the f*K am I even here?"
- "I mean, funnier, yes."
- "I have had enough"
- "Come and get some" Pt 1
- "Come and get some" Pt 2
- "There's plenty of time for all of you to die" Pt 1
- "There's plenty of time for all of you to die" Pt 2
- "Brother, we need to talk."
- "Occupied!"
- "I said Occupied!!"
- "Don't you dare throw up on my playground!"
- "Fantastic."
- "Superior forces meet superior firepower!"
- "Stay right there."
- "Down the hatch."
- "You've got to keep 'em ventilated."
- "A long day for everyone!"
- "...Hold On a minute."
- "That felt good."/ and End of Book 1
- Book 2/Chp 2 Cover
- Book 2 Chapter 1: The Playground Rules
- "Back in my day..."
- "I save your asses? I get sent to the principal's office."
- "You have some explaining to do."
- "I can explain, again, but you'll forget. Again."
- "Handled with the usual charm and diplomacy."
- "What's more annoying?"
- "You're such a screw up, Parker!"
- "That wasn't really a bear, was it?"
- "What else do you remember?"
- "They're demons, Jeffery."
- "Why would I call you a liar?"
- "Have a good trip this fall!"
- "Shut up, creepy girl!
- "So...that was new."
- "Because, because, because!"
- "This...was like looking in a mirror."
- "Not because."
- "Maybe you need to be taught a lesson instead?"
- "Time to come to Jesus."
- "This is what it feels like."
- "You broke my nose!"
- "Excuse me, Mr. Marsh?"
- "You will have to hit harder than that."
- "I'm right in the middle of something."
- "This is bad."
- "Keep running, Jeffery!"
- "From bad to really bad."
- "Jeffery? Run." End of Chapter 1.
- Chapter 2: The 6th Commandment
- "Hurry up, goldenrod!"
- "My big lightning bolt moment."
- "Keep running!"
- "Jeffery? Shut it."
- "He was certainly taller than you."
- "Bring her to me...in pain!"
- "No one's going to believe you."
- "Demons, not zombies."
- "Never met the guy."
- "Who's leading the sled team?"
- "A little talk with Mr Smith & Mr Wesson."
- "Can I help you?"
- "Time for Plan A."
- "Relax. It was bound to happen."
- "Time for Plan B."
- "Fan. Tastic."
- "Hang on a second, Jeffery."
- "But can he take a punch?"
- "OK. Let's do this."
- "A two hit fight."
- "Go ahead. Shoot."
- "Jeffery? Buddy?"
- "Fool me once..."
- "How many do I fave to fight?"
- "All Of Them, I Think."
- "Fool me twice..."
- Chapter 3: A Game of Hide & Go Fuck Yourself
- "Wait For It..."
- "What a revolting development."
- "Every time I turned around..."
- "Son-of-a-bitch must pay!"
- "You've GOT to be kidding me!"
- "Unhand me, you cretins!"
- "Angry at myself."
- "Where's the tech support?"
- "Leave no ground to go to."
- "Time for Plan C."
- "What an incredible smell you've discovered."
- "So what's it going to be, then?"
- "You're welcome!"
- "Baker...was right."
- "More than father's pawn."
- "Time to turn the tables."
- "Legion. Hell's pin worm."
- "Dude. Bad plan."
- "You're laughably predictable."
- "I hate you so much, Mathilda!"
- "You're not scary, you nimrod."
- "So go and shit yourself."
- "We'll call it a draw, then."
- "Hey! Nice house!"
- "Surprise attack!"
- "Not tonight, bear."
- Epilogue/End of Book 2
- FCBD Cover/ "Know your role, Asmodeus"
- "The bestest disguises."
- "That fucking bear."
- "Not now, Baker."
- "That's it. Go to sleep."
- "Look into our Jeebus books."
- "I can see you hiding behind the hedge, asshole."
- "Oh my god, this fucking bear!"/End of Book 0
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