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- Speed Limit
- The Gig is up!
- A Presumption of Innocence
- Crime and ...
- Delicates
- Any club that would have me...
- Any port in a storm
- Stop me if you've heard this one
- One Man's Trash
- Radiant
- Parting is such sweet sorrow
- Who Left the Dimensional Portal Open Again?
- I Said I Was Sorry
- Friends Come and Go, but Enemies Accumulate
- Conspiracy
- Labstyles of the Vile and Villainous
- Everyone Has to Start Somewhere
- Even Evil Doctors Get the Blues
- There's always Uncle Ben
- Murder Was the Case That They Gave Me
- A Place to Call My Own
- It's Bigger on the Inside
- Dating is Such Sweet Sorrow
- What a Tangled Web
- Snugglebunny
- Careful What you Ask For
- Do Not Pass "Go"
- Be Home by 8:30
- Strange Befellows
- That Was Premature
- Where Are We Going To Find Rubber Pants Our Size?
- I’d Like a Serving of Community with a Side of Sarcasm
- How Old Are You Now?
- Sounds Like Someone Has Abandonment Issues
- Do You Want To Talk About It?
- Kirby Wuz Here
- Cluckin’ A!
- Cluck Shot First!
- What’s in a Name?
- Hoarders: The Evil Doctor Edition
- That Tingling Feeling is How You Know it’s Working
- Not Again
- I Feel Like Chicken Tonight
- Winners Never Quit
- Meet Bob
- High in Fiber
- You’re Supposed to say `Who’s There`
- Don’t Try This At Home
- A Mystery Pummeled by an Enigma
- That Not So Fresh Feeling
- Did You Get a New Hairdo?
- Dreadlocks
- All Alone in the Moonlight
- A Picture Says a Thousand Things You Didn’t Want to Say
- Apology Not Accepted
- No Good Deed Goes Unpunished
- Where’s My Parade?
- Not Exactly Millions of Voices
- Here’s Johnny!
- Slow News Day
- Just Say No
- Off to a Slow Start
- Watch Out Man!
- If You Can’t Beat Them…
- A good man always knows his limitations
- What is the Sound of One Opposite Generating?
- Sibling Rivalry
- That’s Despicable!
- The Sincerest Form of Flattery
- Like a Big Pizza Pie
- You’re Going to Need a Bigger Boat
- Hum a Few Bars
- It Saves on Transaction Fees
- Nothing Personal
- A Thousand Channels And Nothing Is On
- Just a Little Prick
- Alcohol Preserves Everything Except Dignity
- Happiness is a Warm Blanket
- Hiding in Plane Sight
- I wonder if this is how Nomad felt…?
- Villainy Never Takes a Vacation
- What Goes Around
- It Isn’t Polite To Stare
- Good Help is Hard to Find
- For Every Action…
- Afterbirth
- You’ll Speak When Spoken To
- Of Course You Realize This Means War
- Oh The Humanity
- Pax Super-Sapiens
- Happy Trails
- Know When to Fold ‘Em
- Sucks To Be You
- I Didn’t Get A Harrumph From That Guy!
- Game Over, Man! Game Over!
- No Paddle For You
- Don’t Try This At Home, Kids!
- I Was Vengeance Before It Was Cool
- The Price is Wrong
- Heal Thyself
- Stop Me If You’ve Heard This One
- Bert’s Revenge
- With a Little Help From My Friends
- Just Snapping a Quick Selfie
- I’m All Over Social Media
- Found Him!
- Try, Try Again
- Don’t Meet Your Idol Kids
- Do Not Arouse the Wrath of the Great and Powerful Oz
- Constructive Criticism
- Protective Custody
- Abracadabra
- Everyone’s a Critic
- It makes the world go ’round
- Layers. Like an onion.
- Break on Through
- Finally, A Straight Answer
- Not Batman
- Secondhand Tolkien is Dangerous Too
- We don’t got the beat
- A’int quite the Mines of Moria
- Minions. Why did it have to be Minions?
- It doesn’t have to be a snowman
- Someday We’ll Find It
- And me without my baggy pants
- Tools come in all sizes
- Indignities abound
- Bliss
- This Ain’t Motel Six
- Can it Gizmo
- Doomed To Repeat It
- Reset the Wayback Machine, Sherman. We broke something.
- It’s Not The Fall That Kills You…
- Hey, it’s a living…
- Elementary
- My Heart Will Go On
- Come Fly With Me
- Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse
- I need a volunteer from the audience
- Ace of Dummies
- Who doesn’t enjoy a good smiting?
- Thief of Hearts and Samsungs
- A Hole in my Heart
- I Feel Pretty, So Pretty
- The Secret Ingredient is Love
- Just like the old age home
- I love a parade
- Still no hover boards?
- Trick or …
- The Devil’s Workshop
- Is Caring
- A little bit of the ultra-cleaning
- Bring me my brown shirt…and hat…and goggles
- Hmm, depends…
- Search your Feelings…
- The Ministry Of Silly Talks
- Cannonball!
- Is it 420 Already?
- Operation Snatch and Grab
- The fool or the fool who follows the fool
- Swipe Left Young Man
- Want some cheese with that whine?
- Just a pinch…
- Love me as though there were no tomorrow
- Worst part of waking up
- Never Miss a Day
- Nobody knows…
- Is it still cannibalism if you’re a chicken?
- What Ever Happened to Judge Rheinhold?
- And she smelled of elderberries
- Even more ripping off the classics
- Wheel of Morality Says: Eat more fiber!
- Oathbreaker
- Side effects include
- Phrasing?
- Under the water, the fish don’t stink
- I take my misery with two sugars
- You’ll have to excuse my friend. He’s a little slow.
- Sprinkles are for winners
- We should pull over for gas
- Where there’s a whig, there’s a way
- And On Your Right, Yet Another Seattle Burnt Coffee Shop
- Draw Me Like One of Your French Girls
- Couldn’t hit the broadside of a…
- I Don’t Have a Square to Spare
- Gonna Fly Now
- Mission One Eight Seven
- Faceless No Longer
- And don’t come down until you’re ready to apologize!
- The Sebastian Confrontation
- Life Finds a Way
- Nothing wrong with a bit of bribery between friends
- Widdle Wiggy Woogums
- Sometimes the Laundry Sorts You
- Circle of Life
- Snards. Its what’s for dinner.
- Don’t blow your wig
- 10,000 ways that won’t work
- Actually, they’re kinda bland till you scoop sugar on ’em.
- Only yourselves to blame
- Splitter!
- At least you don’t handle his “delicates”
- If You Could Go Ahead and Do That…That’d be Greeeeaaat!
- Why Put Off Tomorrow What You Can Do Today
- PC Load Letter? What the F@#$ does that mean?
- Night gathers, and now my watch begins.
- Light ‘Em Up
- And I thought he smelled bad on the outside
- That’s the Power of Pine-Sol, Baby!
- Yo soy la noche
- I’ve seen enough hentai to know what happens next…
- ONE OF US. ONE OF US. ONE OF US.
- Need a little pick me up
- Superheroing ain’t easy
- I’ll packa your bags for your trip.
- The Adventures of The Possum!
- The Adventures of The Cockroach
- And now I forgot my social security number!
- A Crummy Caper
- I Said Good Day Sir!
- Um, look, if we built this large wooden badger…
- A Soggy Situation
- But all the other villains make fun of my chin
- Overcompensating Much?
- What are these? Girl Scout Cookies for Ants?
- The Real Reason Invulnerable Superheroes Need Super Suits
- Hold Onto Your Butts
- The Asparagus Strikes Back
- When you wish upon a star
- Kitty Perry Sings the Blues
- I hope the flying piranhas are house broken
- My Secret Identity Disorder
- A Song of Wait and Wonder
- Nobody Puts Soda Popinski in the Corner
- Thank you sir, may I have another?
- Men at Work
- Why not Southpaw Sundays?
- Grab your ankles, please
- I prefer starlight mints in mine…
- Lowered Expectations Means You’ll Never be Disappointed
- Make a like a tree…and get back to work!
- Probably just picked the first word in the dictionary
- It clearly said ‘Do Not Touch’
- Time for a time out
- That Fourth Wall’s Lookin’ Kinda Flimsy
- Who weeps for the aardvark?
- I see what you’re driving at…
- It was bound to happen
- The Creative Process Needs a Shove
- Something old is something new
- Mmmmm…Chocolate
- Also presenting, the bleeps, the sweeps and the creeps
- A thing that someone says to cause amusement or laughter
- Sadder than a discount Valentine
- Well, what if there is no tomorrow? There wasn’t one today.
- At least it’s out of it’s misery
- That’s two minutes for whining
- Really Driving These Puns
- Started at the Bottom
- Customer Disservice
- You Light Up My Life
- April Blizzards Bring May…Blizzards?
- A job most foul
- There goes his tip
- Writers can be vindictive
- You can’t draw and goof off at the same time
- I wish this strip would draw itself…
- Every job can be automated…
- I guess this makes me the tool
- Well Noted…
- You’re Big in Japan
- Never make a promise you’d hate to keep
- Maybe if you hum a few bars?
- Don’t ask about the cheese…
- Well, here’s another nice mess you’ve gotten me into
- Sometimes you need lackeys in bulk
- Still probably safer than most street meat.
- I’m a doctor not an orthographer!
- You know what? That’s gonna hurt.
- Catches on quick, doesn’t he?
- I think his ears look funny
- He’s getting real good at it, too.
- He’s getting hip to the get down
- Kiss me like you miss me
- Heaven help you if they’re not in season!
- At least she’s not asking for brunch…
- The leading cause of misery for artists is writers
- Everyone thinks they can write.
- Some situations are seldom swashed swiftly when buckles...
- If you want something done right, do it yourself.
- Not responsible for hair in awkward places.
- Sleeping the sleep of the innocent, despite myself
- I wouldn’t say I’ve been missing it, Bob
- Clean up your act before I get back!
- It’s like the eye follows you wherever you go.
- I haven’t had a decent sacrifice in ages
- I couldn’t carrot all
- Now he’s the Atomized Avenger
- There go the best fries in Hero City
- Everybody wants to be a star
- You’re gonna be in trouble when mom gets home.
- Lights out on Cell Block D
- Now just wait a second…
- He’s a big fan
- That’s some heavy funk
- Some say it’s still at large till this very day…
- Those marvelous scammers sure scammed us, huh?
- You might be a Targaryen
- You pay what you get for…or something like that.
- The muse has struck
- Gesundheit!
- Your Freudian slip is showing…
- Time to make the donuts.
- In Hero City, egg beats you!
- Wait, people actually read this comic?
- Nobody puts Baby in the corner.
- Give That Monkey A Typewriter!
- Speedsters are big jerks.
- How do you make a goth giggle?
- If you keep making that face, it’ll stay that way.
- A mime is a terrible thing to waste.
- Gonna need a steamer to get that out.
- We want the funk.
- Stuck in the middle with you.
- Don’t go getting all choked up now.
- Avoid the prat-falls of comedy.
- I think he’s finally getting it
- Please apply again at a later time. Much later.
- That’s why it’s called ‘Duty’.
- He’s in serious treble.
- Chillin’ like a villain
- Radio Blah Blah
- Candygram for Mongo?
- Not going anywhere for a while?
- Head over heels for his art.
- I before me except after thee
- Ah hell, give me a white wine spritzer.
- Wake me up when December ends.
- This show stinks.
- No one is in comics for the money.
- Why go high when you can go low?
- Eight out of nine ain’t bad
- Ching Chang Walla Walla Bing Bang.
- Who wants a Hertz Donut?
- Toss this gag in the ditcher.
- This is why I take baths.
- I like coffee. It gives me the illusion that I'm be awake
- Wait, Wilhemina?
- Does this glow look infected?
- Family Matters.
- I’m not throwing away my shot.
- Don’t forget to tap your mana.
- Why did you say that name!?
- He’s only mostly dead.
- The plumage don’t enter into it.
- Hold Still
- I don’t think that’s sanitary
- You keep on knocking but you can’t come in.
- I don’t have a square to spare.
- Did someone hear a snap?
- Social Distance Creativity Disorder
- Social Distance is Working.
- The reaper does not listen to the harvest
- Groovy
- Do your ears hang low?
- Stealing power is better for the environment
- It’s so mindbogglingly useful!
- Funk Sole Brother
- They love me on eBay
- This is not the way
- She misses her lil’ Boopsie
- Prison changes you
- Oink Bro
- Can Timmy come out to play?
- They’re all gonna laugh at you
- Wipe your feet!
- Gotta catch ’em all
- Hush now, Mama’s here
- I’ve got something in my eye
- What’s that dirt on your chin?
- Stay-cation!
- Yoink!
- Don’t call it a comeback
- That tingling feeling means it’s working!
- For a nice and shiny coat…
- It’s a Dog Groomed Shame
- Splish Splash
- How to Zoom
- Twisted up like a Rubik’s Cubist
- Infernal Delivery
- Sorry…Affogato your name
- Something fishy is going on.
- Not bad. Cod do better.
- Out of the frying pan?
- The sea is dark and full of terrors.
- No chance of parole now…
- This one is driving me crazy
- Caped Caper
- It’s all fun and games until someone ends up in a cone
- How do you plead?
- Misery loves company
- Did you get the memo?
- In space, no one can hear you telemarket.
- 404 Joke Not Found
- Bodacious
- He’s gonna go hungry…
- Everybody’s a Loki
- And finally, monsieur, a wafer-thin mint.
- Netflix and …
- It’s in beta
- That’s not write…
- I have the power!
- Mouth for What?
- Dammit Jim!
- One more thing…
- You can’t expect much from us.
- How about an extended warranty?
- Lawyer up bruh
- I won’t ask again…
- These strips keep on rollin’
- That was easy!
- Not the Bees!
- In the back of a Volkswagen?
- Freaky Friday?
- Make like a tree and GTFO
- Am I supposed to be punishing myself?
- Like, Take a Chill Pill
- Same Crap, Different Year
- Somebody order fried spam?
- Kitchen Nightmares
- Today’s Forecast: My own private hell
- Be sure to file in triplicate
- At least death is final
- To The Moon!
- We always call each other Gopherllas
- Are Henchmen Claimed as Dependents or Furniture?
- I hear they’re scruffy lookin’
- Smell ya later.
- At least they wore seatbelts
- Rock the Cantina
- Same damn time…same damn channel
- Bros before heroes
- It’s not me, it’s you.
Creator
And so ends the grand experiment of The Experimental Reality Generator. Since it is the day after the election, I’ll bet there are lots people who would love to have an ERG, even a poorly functioning one. Here at Damn Heroes we ascribe to no party (okay, maybe the Cthulhu Party) and since I wrote this yesterday, I have no idea who won the damn thing yet. Anyway, next week the slate is clean. Enjoy
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